Joan Ridsdel​
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3 Proven Steps That Will Free You From Food Obsession

4/27/2020

13 Comments

 
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We live in uncertain times.  No one (except maybe Bill Gates) predicted that the world would be thrown into a pandemic frenzy.  

COVID-19 has proven to be unpredictable, sometimes mild, sometimes deadly, always frightening. 
 
As we change the way we live and work, sheltering at home and social distancing has become the norm. 

We don’t stop to chat on our walks around the neighborhood.  We settle for a wave and a smile.  A trip to the grocery store has become a bi-monthly highlight.
 
There’s a feeling of anxiety in the air, sparked by the unknown, triggered by uncertainty. 

Grocery Store Anxiety

This story begins in the grocery store.  The sign “2 for the price of 1” caught my eye. 
  
Whole chickens were on sale – a great deal with 2 in a bag.  I watched from a distance as shoppers picked up a bag (only one per person).  
 
I approached the cooler when it was safe.  My heart skipped a beat – 2 bags left.
 
For a moment I stood there, panic rising from my belly into my chest, my face flushed and hot.  “What if there isn’t enough food during this pandemic”? 
  
I took a breath and quickly grabbed one of the remaining bags. 

When I reached my car, I sat for a moment, perplexed.  What just happened?  Why the sudden panic surge and anxiety – over a bag of chicken! 

I thought I was doing well working from home and social distancing on my ventures out.  After all, I wasn’t missing my 2 hours commute each day.   I didn’t miss being packed like sardines into a commuter train.
    
I was connecting more with friends, family and clients by zoom and phone.  Work meetings happened on Microsoft Teams.  We were connected and had it all covered. 

I hadn’t noticed any overt signs of distress or anxiety - until now. 


Down the Rabbit Hole with Food, Stress & Emotional Eating

As I reflected on past weeks, it dawned on me that I was nibbling more, mindlessly grabbing handfuls of crackers to satisfy a deep desire for carbs and comfort food. 

I’d started weighing myself again.
 
I counted the many times in the last weeks I’d ridiculed myself as I stepped on the scale, disappointed by the number glaring back at me.

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I hated to acknowledge that my nasty, mean inner gremlin had been chipping away at my confidence, replaying old tapes I thought were gone for good.  And, not to be outdone, my inner rebel was making a comeback, primed to make sure I felt out of control, obsessed, around food. 

Was I really be entertaining the idea of going back on a diet? 

Really? 

I was falling back into the “food-obsessed diet mentality abyss” that I had worked so hard to climb out of.

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When we eat emotionally, we stop listening to our body’s natural signals and give our power over to food. And, when we look in the mirror, we become critical and unfriendly towards the very body that works so hard to keep us moving, breathing, loving and healthy. 

Gratitude for Emotional Eating

Emotional eating in and of itself isn’t a bad thing.
 
We’re allowed to enjoy a piece of cake at a birthday party or celebrate our anniversary with a glass of wine and a decadent appy – without guilt or regret. 
 
Food helps us celebrate and brings us together.      


But what if we use food to numb, soothe, or distract us from our feelings?  What if we turn to food when we just want to run away, but instead find ourselves mindlessly crunching our way through a giant bag of chips? 

As crazy as it sounds, these moments are gifts, signals that cry out to us to listen, pay attention and peek behind our emotional curtain. 

Food is our way of meeting our emotional needs, an attempt to nourish ourselves.

When we don’t want to feel our feelings (or buried trauma reminds us it still exists), food becomes the antidote to a nervous system ready to fight or flee. 
Food calms us – until it doesn’t. 

Emotional eating once again takes us on a roller coaster ride that we feel powerless to stop.  We’re flooded with familiar feelings of guilt, shame, frustration, anger after a binge or “blowing it”.
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Believing we’re unworthy and at fault for a lack of willpower, we console ourselves with the promise of a new start – tomorrow.  

An Emotional Eating Antidote

How can we navigate our way through this pandemic while learning that food isn’t a sure rescue from feelings we’re trying desperately to avoid?

Step 1.  Figure out where your feelings come from.  
When I left the grocery store, I thought back to the moment I started feeling anxious.  I realized that my thought “What if there isn’t enough food during this pandemic?” was the trigger that created the anxiety. 

Step 2.  Reframe your thoughts.   
As I sat in the car, I reframed my thought to: “I’m so grateful for the bag of chicken I bought.  I know there are a lot of other options so there’s no need to worry about not having enough.”
        
Feelings less anxious, this thought saved me from eating the bag of Oreo cookies I’d mindlessly thrown into my grocery bag.
 
Step 3.  Practice self-compassion.
As we navigate COVID-19, transforming emotional eating means allowing our vulnerabilities to shine.  They are our gift as we wind our way on the path to food and body freedom. 

Be kind, gentle and supportive as if we were our own best friend. 

“Whenever I notice something about myself I don’t like, or whenever something goes wrong in my life, I silently repeat the following phrases: This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” ~ Kristen Neff:  Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind

How are you navigating these uncertain times?   How can I support you in your quest to leave emotional eating behind? 

I’d love to connect and chat about where you are and where you’d like to be.
 
With Gratitude,

Joan
Food Freedom and Body Image Coach

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13 Comments
Andrea link
5/6/2020 08:06:15 am

A heartfelt post, Joan. I love your Antidote too - very helpful for those of us battling the Covid '19'. These stressful times really require that we're diligent about our regular routines to protect our mental health and that we keep ourselves moving. Daily fresh air and exercise (as well as good, healthy food) are all elements our bodies need to stay healty - and choices we CAN make for our health. Love how you remind us that we are always in control of our choices - even when we're not always able to control our circumstances.

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Joan Ridsdel
5/6/2020 07:08:37 pm

Thank you Andrea! I appreciate your comments. Yes, we do have control and with working on changing our beliefs and thinking and listening to our amazing bodies, we can transform emotional eating. Thanks again!

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Lynne link
5/7/2020 03:48:31 am

A very real and on point message Joan. The Antidote was a refreshing change to what I usually read. These are all important factors, especially in these times we are currently living in. Yes! We do have the control. May not always be easy to make the right choice but so worth it and transformational which holds its own reward!

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Joan
5/11/2020 08:36:41 am

Thank you Lynne! Yes, we do have control when we begin to change our thinking - and, often it means addressing the underlying issues or beliefs about ourselves that makes it possible to change how we think. It is the transformation that holds the reward!

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Lynne Wadsworth link
6/4/2020 05:59:03 am

You are right, Joan. Our limiting belief system can certainly hold us back. If we hold out the reward, then it can help motivate.

carmen burnay
5/9/2020 08:46:29 am

Well written Joan and I think many of us can relate to this struggle. Your antidotes are really thoughtful and useful. Keep doing what you are doing

Reply
Joan
5/11/2020 08:38:17 am

Thank you Carmen! I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I am loving what I do so will keep at it! Your support means a lot to me!

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Litsa
5/11/2020 08:31:41 am

Thank you for writing this and sharing. I can relate.

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Joan
5/11/2020 08:39:51 am

Thank you for taking the time to comment Litsa! I appreciate it! Yes, there are so many of us that struggle with this issue! Thanks again!

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Judy link
5/13/2020 09:00:59 pm

Kind of nice to know that everyone is struggling right now with food issues. I am doing the bi monthly shop as well and that is when I am the most anxious. I am keeping up with exercise but definitely in the mindset that any weight I gain will come off later. However, it just means more to lose later. Thanks for the perspective.

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Karen link
5/16/2020 10:40:33 am

Great tips, Joan. I love how you Reframe your Thoughts. It's a constant inner dialogue for me!

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Joan
5/16/2020 04:09:04 pm

Hi Karen! Thanks for the comment. It's true that so many of us have challenges around our thoughts and food. I hope the tips helped!

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Kate Jensen
6/10/2020 03:48:04 am

Great post, Joan. I have been struggling hugely with my carb consumption during lockdown. I've recorded the highest blood sugar levels I've ever seen and I know I'm possibly damaging my diabetic body. The trouble is, I've broken all of my good habits and it is so hard to get back to them during lockdown. I have to admit that I have been a bit short on self-compassion and self-care. Perhaps I need to start there.

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    Hello, I'm Joan Ridsdel, the Founder and Creative Director of WISER Woman Coaching and Personal Development.  I"m truly passionate about  inspiring women to live the life they were meant for - free from the shackles of the dieting culture, fully in tune and at peace with their miraculous body and enjoying a healthy and joyful relationship with food.

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