I've been reading Option B - Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant. Why? As I get closer to another decade, I've been reflecting on the losses and traumas I've experienced throughout my life and how I've managed to get through them.
I created W.I.S.E.R Woman Coaching and Personal Development around the time that I was forced to overcome a huge challenge in my life.
It has been two years since the beginning of a traumatic incident that ended in the loss of my brother.
Understandably, that event changed me forever and challenged many of the beliefs I'd cherished my entire life.
As I look back at this experience and other losses in my life, I’ve come to recognize that resilience has played a massive role in my survival and contributed to my ability to overcome immense and debilitating heart ache and devastation – even though there were moments when I didn't think I could.
The acronym W.I.S.E.R came to me because I knew from my own, and other's experience, that during times of stress and loss we need our inner resources for survival and well-being.
The R in W.I.S.E.R stands for resilience.
Resilience is the ability to cope and bounce back no matter what life throws at you.
Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant, authors of Option B, note that resilience is found deep within us and that it is most effective paired with outside support.
Resilience is like a muscle. It can be mobilized and strengthened. And, it can be learned.
Those dark moments of complete despair have softened, somewhat. These days, I can turn my mind to what's next.
Resilience is about experiencing all of our feelings and fully honoring and acknowledging the grief and loss we experience.
And, it is about finding our way forward.
With time to offer some perspective, I’m glad that life has continued to march forward, despite my deep loss.
Choosing to step back into life when we can is much better than the alternative option of remaining immobilized in our grief and loss.
Being resilient means being optimistic, grateful, self-compassionate, confidant and empowered.
Changing pessimism to optimism, fear to confidence, shame to compassion, and recognizing who and what we are grateful for, requires a shift in thinking.
Changing one's thinking takes practice and requires a belief that we hold the power to change.
3 strategies to help you flex and strengthen your resilience muscle.
1. Counselling or coaching will help you tap into resilience.
We are hardwired to deal with grief but it's important we reach out for support when necessary. Trauma and loss have impacts on the body, mind and spirit and a certified or licensed professional can share insights and lend support that can help you regain your equilibrium.
2. Journaling will help those who like writing.
Actually going through the process of putting our thoughts down on paper, or writing out our feelings with a pen is therapeutic. It's private. It’s non-judgmental. We can choose to save our entries or not. Journaling can reveal our inner strengths and help us sort through what’s important to us.
3. Make Self-Care a Priority by exercising daily and making wiser food choices.
Honouring our bodies with regular exercise and healthy food helps us manage stress and regulates our sleeping habits, helps us feel strong and flexible and elevates our energy levels. These healthy habits bring clarity and focus to our minds and keep us flexible and strong.
The better we are at taking care of our health and well-being, the more resilient we will be when life challenges us.
So, here we are together… bravely marching on - through thick and thin, in sunshine, stormy weather and even in the depths of darkness… life will continue to challenge us and reward us and I thank you for your support.
Now it’s your turn…
If you'd like to chat about what you’ve come through and where you’d like to go, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary Create the Life You Crave Discovery Call.
Together, we’ll increase your resilience, strengthen your inner resources (W.I.S.E.R) and create a step-by-step plan for your success. It’s as simple as taking my hand and walking together.