As I become more and more confident in my relationship with food and my body, I can’t imagine going back to the way it used to be. I struggled for so many years to be in control around food and not once, even when I was at my lowest weight, did I feel I had control when it came to food.
As I reflected on my dieting days, I remembered a conversation I had with someone who told me that she felt in control around food when she was at home. She could control what food was purchased and brought into the house, oversaw the portions she ate, and knew exactly how much she could get away with eating each day so as not to gain weight.
The Coffee Date
One day she stopped to have coffee with a friend and, despite taking her own snack to manage her hunger and control what she ate, she found herself staring down the barrel of a plate of cookies that her friend so generously offered her.
Panic set in. Suddenly she found herself reaching for a cookie, and then another, and another
until she realized she’d eaten all but one last lonely cookie.
As she eyed the almost empty plate, she swore that cookie called her name.
It was all she could do not to grab it off the plate as she tried desperately to focus and listen to her friend chat away about this and that.
It was as if her inner mean girl was sitting on her shoulder, encouraging her to go for it.
Familiar words circled around and around in her mind:
“Go on, you deserve it, you’ve been so good lately.
Why don’t you just finish it – one more won’t make any difference.
You can start again tomorrow.
You’ve already blown it, so why not eat just one more!”
It was a familiar story. It could have been mine – or yours.
That feeling of control we carefully craft as reality when it comes to food, is pure illusion, and doesn’t exist.
If you’ve ever experienced the emotional roller coaster, feeling in control one minute and then suddenly realizing the wheels have fallen off the rails the next, you’ll know how easy it is to eat 10 cookies instead of 1.
You’ll understand that after the first bite or two those cookies you had to have don’t even register on your taste buds anymore.
You’ll know how it feels to override and ignore the signal your body is sending you, bypassing the sick feeling in your belly, until you can’t stomach one. more. bite.
You find yourself at a fork in the road.
The one to the right is the same, well worn path you’ve always taken. There are no surprises, and the ending is well…you know, the same.
The path to the left, however, is new, uncharted territory. To venture down it without a map is daunting. And yet, knowing that without risk, courage and change, your destiny will be what is has been for years – the same!
As I stood at the crossroads for the last time, I’d finally reached my breaking point and knew deep within me that unless I unearthed and resolved my undigested story, I would live and die on the path of least resistance.
And yet, how could I be sure this was the right decision?
I stopped for a moment to breathe. Like the seer who peers deeply into her crystal ball, hoping for clues about the future, I saw myself a year from now.
I stepped onto the unknown path trusting the vision I’d seen, knowing I’d find my way.
And now, it’s your turn.
Next time you find yourself standing at the crossroads, imagine YOU a year from now.
Look deeply into your crystal ball and describe your new relationship with food:
What has changed?
How do you feel? How are you thinking differently?
What are you doing differently?
What do others notice about you?
I won’t tell you the journey to finding peace with food is an easy one.
But I can promise that once you take the first step and feel the difference between the freedom to choose whether you eat a cookie or not, and believing you can’t stop eating them, you won’t go back.
So, lovely Soul, let me ask you: Which path will you take?
If you’d like some help or support with your journey to creating a peaceful relationship with food and your body, let’s connect for a complimentary Discovery call HERE.
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