3 Tips to Save You From Yourself Around Food During the Holidays
As I write this post, the Holidays are upon us, and a New Year is just weeks away! Where has the time gone?
If you’re finding yourself with a mix of emotions these days, you’re not alone. We’ve come through a traumatic 2+ years with covide and re-entry continues to challenge us with the addition of a nasty flu. Prices are skyrocketing, stretching our hard-earned dollar to the max. We’re painfully aware of who we’re missing this time of year, wondering who’s available to celebrate with us if we’re on our own, and who’s going to push our buttons as we sit around the dining table together.
As if that isn’t enough, so many of us are fraught with feelings of guilt, shame and frustration about weight and the size of our bodies.
Wasn’t this the year you were going to lose weight once and for all?
And here you are, struggling with the same old broken promises and challenges with food you’ve had for years – sometimes decades. Diets didn’t last long no matter how much you willed your way to staying on track. Like two children fighting, the “good” part of you lost against the sword wielding “bad” part that seems to get the better of you every time.
It’s easy to blame yourself for the lack of willpower and fortitude to stop eating and drinking all the delicious things you crave.
You tell yourself you’ll just have one turtle, and as you take the last bite, you can’t help but have just one more…
A little voice whispers in your ear “no one can tell me what to eat or how much to eat!”
Just one more… and one more… until the empty boxes and bottles pile up and you’re filled with regret and a deep sadness within your body. You tell yourself that tomorrow will be better - you’ll have more control then. You pray for willpower, knowing deep down it’s only a matter of moments before it’ll start all over again.
Thank goodness January is just around the corner. Another year to begin again. A reset.
As someone who has battled my body and fought hard to win the fight against emotional eating, I know the drill. I lived it for decades, and still occasionally find my way back to it. What I discovered on my journey to creating a more peaceful relationship with food, however, is that food isn’t the sole issue.
Yes, it matters what we eat for both health and weight, but the diet industry has lied to us about the efficacy of the diets we’ve spent fortunes on. There’s more to the weighty issues we carry with us than meets the eye.
Stress, Anxiety and Worry
I invite you to sit quietly for a minute, check in, and notice how stressed, worried, or anxious you feel. How many times have you found yourself pouring an extra glass of wine or eating bowls of popcorn before bed, hoping to find relief from the pressures of the day (or week, or Holidays or …?).
We know from research that some stress is ok but when it becomes chronic or builds up without relief, we naturally shift into survival mode. Cortisol, our stress hormone, floods our bodies. Our brains search for danger - stress, worry, and anxiety have taken the place of tigers chasing us and have become the new “norm” in today’s world. To conserve energy, our digestion, metabolism, and inner healing, are impacted and not surprisingly, the ability to release weight and fat is decreased.
The way we think about our weight, size and shape has a huge impact on our weight and how we feel about ourselves and our bodies.
Take for example, the woman who embraces the journey she embarks on to improve her health markers, increase her fitness level, and potentially shed some weight:
she focuses on feeling good in her body now
she chooses to eat foods that nourish her at least 80% of the time
she leaves room to eat the foods diet culture has labelled “bad” 20% of the time, always knowing that she has the choice to eat them or not
she eats mindfully most of the time and savours the flavours, textures, tas
she looks forward to moving her body, becoming fitter and stronger without obsessing about it
she acknowledges and appreciates how much her body does for her on this journey as she looks in the mirror
she is curious and looks for ways to be happier, more content, satisfied with food, her body and her life
she knows that the destination is elusive because the goals, intentions, desires change over time as each goal is achieved
And then there’s the woman who
resents the journey and everything about it:
she restricts her food choices and feels stressed, shame, disappointed when she “blows” it
she feels out of control around food most of the time and can’t stop herself from eating those “bad” foods
she worries about her weight and berates herself for the number on the scale
she hates looking in the mirror and talks about her body with disdain
she can’t wait to reach her goal weight so she can be done with dieting
she resents having to move her body, even if it feels good and believes it’s only for burning calories
she is obsessed with dieting, weight, weight loss and has a hard time enjoying special holidays or events
she can’t bear to be in her body and avoids feeling her feelings at all costs
Which woman are you right now?
Which woman do you think finds it easier to BE the woman she wants to be with food, her body and in her life?
Below the Surface
Operating below the surface is a powerful force – our unconscious mind. Have you ever wondered why you sabotage your efforts, no matter how hard you try to establish better habits or reach your goals around food and your body?
Your unconscious brain might be at play. The good news is that it works on your behalf to keep you safe; the challenge is that it can’t distinguish between what you need now to keep you safe, and what you used to need.
Your Inner Child
As children/youth, young adults, many of us experienced sexual harassment/abuse/violence that left deep emotional wounds. Turning to food for comfort, safety, and reliability, makes sense.
Have you ever wondered why you feel that one bowl of chips isn’t enough? Why are you compelled to clean your plate when your tummy tells you she’s full? Why don’t you say “no thank you” when food is pushed on you by a relative or friend? Have you ever wondered where a feeling comes from or why a response can feel like it’s from a 5-year-old, even though you’re a grown up?
Your inner child may still be at the heart of why you do what you do with food and how you feel about your body today. Old, outdated programs may be just as powerful today as they were back then.
Here’s what to do…
Emotional Freedom Techniques, EFT or Tapping is a powerful tool that helps lower cortisol levels, allowing us to think more clearly. I suggest using EFT daily to tap away stress, worry and anxiety, especially when it comes to emotional eating. The simple strategy of Tap and Breathe will help you feel more in control and help you stop eating just one more…
Claim your free Ebook “Emotional Freedom Techniques ~ Breathe” by sending
me an email HERE!
2. Working with a skilled EFT practitioner, coach or counsellor can help sort through what you learned as a child and what is fact today. Inner child work is powerful and allows you to take back your power as an adult. What happened as a child doesn’t need to replay itself repeatedly today. You get to choose what, when, and how to eat and care for your life-giving body. And, finally, you have the privilege of taking care of the little girl or boy within instead of her/him attempting to take care of you.
3. You don’t have to fall victim to your unconscious mind believing that you don’t deserve to feel worthy, enough, valuable…. Deep seated beliefs and behaviours that have kept you turning to food for comfort and safety can be changed. Getting to the heart of the matter is what EFT does.
Claim your free Discovery Call with me HERE so we can figure out what’s holding you back!
If you’re interested in learning more about how to create a peaceful relationship with food and your body, transform your issues around weight, size and shape for good, and step into Being the Woman You Want to Be, stay tuned for my new Mind/Body based program coming in the New Year!
Make 2023 your year to shape shift your mind, re-write outdated stories, change old beliefs, make peace with food and your body, and reach your health and wellness goals.
If you’d like to be kept in the loop and be the first to know when registration is open, connect with me HERE and I’ll add you to my list (you’ll receive updates and news via The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Notebook).
Wishing you a Happy Holiday filled with love, cheer, comfort, and care.
With gratitude,
Joan
